Hi I'm Chan and it took me almost 26 years to understand and accept that I was truly a male unlike the female I was born as.
At a very young age I noticed I liked to do guy stuff and would have a fit if I had to wear a dress. I would run down the side street to catch up with my brother and his friends, it just felt natural to follow that group. I remember wishing for it everytime my birthday came and when I saw a falling star in the night "I just want to be a boy".
When I would go over to friends houses to play, i wanted to either be the dog or the daddy when playing "House". I remember crying every sundays because my mother always wanted to go to the church and wear a dress , I ran outside and asked my mom if I could take my dress off because it was hot out ( 7-8yrs old) she said No. I remember how bad it felt on that days. When puberty hit I was slapped in the face with the fact that my body was a stranger to me. Some times I'd sneak into my brothers room and try on his clothes, pose in the mirror for a minute and imagine myself as a man. I stopped doing that after awhile because it was too hard on me, I had told myself "it'll never happen, so just give up".
But I didn't!
If I could go back and change one thing, it would be to ask more questions, don't be afraid to tell my family how I really feel inside. I don't regret anything about growing up how I did, because of where I am today. I'm proud of myself for being strong enough to not give up, to believe that I am worth it. I'm alive to be thankful for the people who love and support me. Thank you so much!
It's hard to ask for help, you want to be able to say you did it all on your own. Truth is if it wasn't for my friends, family and random strangers who have shown me so much love and support, I wouldn't be here today, let alone be strong enough to find myself.
I opened this Help Chan be a Real Men account to raise money for my top surgery. The laws say that I am not considered a male until I have one of two surgeries. It's not about the laws to me, it's about looking in the mirror for the first time and seeing....ME! With your help that will become possible.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
Your donation means the world to me, thank you.