Jun 04, 2014 at 06:20 pm

Recovery

Update posted by Trisha Williams

The next three months after being released from hospital had its ups and downs, but mostly downs. It was a scary time as I wrestled with the possibility of having bipolar disorder (I found out later that my diagnosis was borderline since I’ve only ever had one episode). This wasn’t helped by the fact that I had no support from any mental health professionals during this time.

 

I felt tired all the time, had difficulty finding joy in things that I loved before and being positive, and felt easily overwhelmed by my environment. I was confused about why I went through this and what it meant for my life, especially since what happened to me felt so spiritual.

 

I am a person of faith and one thing that I know to be true is that God was my absolute stronghold throughout this experience. Even when my mind was betraying me, I felt that God was holding my hand as everything else was caving in around me. After the intensity of the mania, going back into ‘normal’ life was tough. The hard thing was still learning how to trust in God after the dust settled and when life was going back to ‘normal.’

 

After such an epic adventure, normal life felt so boring in comparison. I struggled to figure out where I fit into the real world. Through prayer, time, medication, support from my church community and friends, and a healthy lifestyle, things eventually continued to improve.

 

Also having the support from my husband, Corey, was huge. I consider it a miracle that he still loves me despite all that’s happened and I that I can say now that our marriage is as strong as ever. I'm so glad he took his vows seriously and was able to give me grace and eventually trust me again. (Hopefully after he submits his thesis, he will write about and share what this was all like from his experience).

 

When I finally met with a psychiatrist three months after being discharged, he was very positive and told me that feeling low was a normal part of my mood stabilising. Just hearing that gave me hope that I could be myself again. I dramatically improved after that and then was able to come completely off my medication in October, seven months after my episode.

 

There is a chance that I will have another episode again in my lifetime. At first I was really afraid of this. Was my life now going to be a roller coaster of mania and/or depression? I eventually accepted that this was a possibility and if so, I would treat it like any other illness. The good thing is that we know the signs and symptoms to look out for so can hopefully manage it better now if it does come back.

 

Half Marathon and Mental Health Project Update:

I’m very excited to announce that my fundraising goal has been reached and over £1000.00 has been raised for the Royal Edinburgh Hospital! During the month of June, I will be in communications with staff at the hospital and purchasing supplies for the patients (art supplies, exercise mats, and welcome packs with essentials). As soon as the supplies have been gathered, I will deliver them to the hospital.

 

Also, I managed to survive the Edinburgh half marathon on 25th May! I never considered myself a runner (my memories of running were always linked to discomfort and punishment in P.E. class) but through continued training, I was able to pull it off and actually enjoy it! I completed in 2 hours 13 minutes wearing a green wig and a mental health awareness shirt.

 

Even though I am excited by these achievements, even more thrilling to me has been the outpouring of openness and authenticity I have seen from people who either struggle with mental illness or who have loved ones with mental illness. It brings to light how many people out there are dealing with mental illness and the stigma attached. Together we can move past the stigma, taking important steps toward recovery or learning how to manage mental illness in a healthy way.

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