Dear friends and supporters,

Today I want to present you another dream of mine that seemed impossible a few years ago - to do a track with one of my guitar heroes - the spectacular Jeff Loomis :)

Now's the time to elaborate a bit regarding the concept of Silhouette and what those inner demons are exactly. The album is all about my personal journey of dealing with depression, anxiety, PTSD and other fancy conditions and the album is to a certain degree a therapeutic work because it helps me to analyse those issues and to find an effective way to counteract.

In the album, I tried to describe how these problems appear, how they build up as the years go by, and how they gradually take over your entire perception of the world around you until they leave you crippled, numb, weak, and unable to sense anything, relying mostly on your memories about how certain things should feel like.

This track, in particular, is my depiction of an anxiety attack, hence the name - you feel it coming and you know that it's going to be yet another terrible episode. I wanted to capture the feeling of the early sensations of the attack about to develop, how it gets more and more intense and at a certain point, it becomes so overwhelmingly terrifying that it leaves you in despair and barely able to breathe.

Fortunately, even though such an attack feels like it's never going to end, eventually it cools down leaving the bitter aftertaste of the experience which is why I composed the end in this specific manner.

As the time progresses, one learns how to deal with such episodes and the ability to detect them coming is essential because this is the moment when one should engage with mindfulness exercises in order to stop it. Nowadays, I rarely have a full-blown attack precisely because I've learnt how to manage it but it's something that requires constant self-care and observation and it takes a lot of mental effort and energy, quite often leading to exhaustion.

I decided to invite Jeff Loomis to take part in this composition because he's known for his aggressive metal sounding and I knew that he would be able to represent the intensity of the condition in an excellent way.

The video is still unlisted and I will make it public on Friday so now I wanted to make some sort of pre-premiere for you as a sign of my gratitude for your enormous support.

Enjoy and share your thoughts in the comments below :)

Alexandra Zerner feat. Jeff Loomis | Here It Comes Again (Playthrough)