4 weeks down! I can't believe today I'll go for my 5th treatment. The weeks are flying by and I'm so thankful. Weeks 3 & 4 were very similar to weeks 1 & 2 as far as which days I'm not feeling well. My side effects were all the same just a little more intense. Thursday on week 4 was my worst day so far but I listened to my body, left work, and slept a lot. My spirits have been high and I feel very calm. I'm not sure how (LOL) but I'll take it!

I believe my mental and emotional health are just as important to healing as the drugs I'm taking and the holistic treatments I'm doing. There are definitely moments when I'll just start to cry but it's only because I'm tired. Tired of wondering how I'll feel, having everything revolve around that, or even just not being able to do the things that make me feel normal. I actually enjoy cooking, doing laundry, and cleaning on my good days because it makes me feel like it's just another day. I go a lot slower but it gets done! The good part is I don't stay in these moments too long. I let myself have them and keep it moving. Going through this is much easier with a smile on my face and finding the light in each day. I love when I'm told by people who are with me that it makes them feel better to be around me because of my positive spirit. I can't do much for the people I love right now but if I can do that then I'm happy.

I have two more major decisions I need to make and they aren't easy. I'm praying that God will help me see what I should do but so I far I'm not sure. Once chemo is complete, I'm supposed to start radiation and a hormone blocking pill (tamoxifen). I'm 75% sure I won't do radiation however this pill is killing me! It's recommended I take it for 10 years (not happening) so my oncologist said 5 years. The issue is this pill comes with many side effects and can potentially cause uterine cancer. The decision is not easy because my cancer is 80% fueled my estrogen. Being so high many doctors have told me I need to be on it in order to decrease my chances of a reoccurrence. I'd be a 31 years old going into menopause praying this pill doesn't give me a secondary cancer! I just can't wrap my head around that. I had an integrative oncologist, a doctor who studies both alternative and traditional medicine, tell me that I 100% need to take this. It just isn't an easy decision and like everything else it's completely up to me to decide what I will do. Thankful for the two months I have to research even more and pray on this. I'm hopeful that I'll come to a decision that I'll feel comfortable and confident with.

Thank you all again for your continued love, support, and prayers! Love to all!

xoxo,

Jenn

Ps- Chemo brain is REAL so sorry if my grammar and spelling are off. I read this multiple times but it doesn't always help!