I shared a massively long post to my facebook page and anxiously awaiting people to comment, like and share.

Here is the post for you to read (link to original post: https://www.facebook.com/tl309358/posts/1015467277...)

TW: sexual violence / sexual coercion / rape / cisgender bias

Hi everyone!

I am doing my final research project on cisgender men's experiences of sexual coercion (i.e. being forced into any kind of sexual activity) by a cisgender female relationship partner. Cisgender (or cis for short) is a person whose self-identity conforms with the gender that corresponds to their biological sex; not transgender. I use sexual coercion because it is descriptive, a less loaded term than 'rape', and includes all kinds of forced sexual activity (e.g. from sexual touching to watching porn to vaginal/oral/anal penetration), even though it is a mouthful.

I chose this topic because most (feminist) research in this area focuses on men sexually coercing women and children and some focus on men sexually coercing other men (cisgender perpetrators and victims, mainly). In those studies, sexual violence is often portrayed as a result of problematic male sexuality - something the phenomenon of women sexually coercing men challenges fundamentally.
It is a statistical fact that cis women and children, and LGBTQ+ people are much more likely to be a victim of sexual coercion. Despite victim blaming and rape culture, there are services and people out there to offer these victims the sympathy and support they deserve.
On the flip side, having a lower and less publizised life time risk of sexual coercion, men who experience sexual coercion often do not get the support services, research studies, sympathy, and social recognition they deserve. Instead, there's stigma ("a WOMAN overpowered you? What kind of man are you?", flat out denial ("men can't get raped"), and minimising what happened ("come on, you got laid. Why are you complaining?). It is easy to see why someone would not want to talk about it to close friends and family (or report it to the police!), leaving people to make sense of what happened alone.

This makes me angry because anyone, regardless of their gender identity can be a victim and perpetrator of sexual violence, and all victims deserve to be believed and supported.

In my study, I will interview cis-men who have experienced cis-female-perpetrated sexual coercion about it, how they made sense of it, and what was helpful/unhelpful to them. Let's put this issue on the map. It happens to men too.

If you want to support my research,
1) you can donate what you can to my crowdfunding page: https://assets.gogetfunding.com/funding-research-project-on-male-…/

I will use the money to cover my transcriptions costs for the interviews, so I have more time and headspace to analyse the data, write up the report, offer therapy to clients, and complete all the other assignments on this doctorate course.

2) If you are a cis-male between 18 and 35 and experienced sexual coercion more than 2 years ago, you can also email me to register your interest in research participation ([email protected]). I can't interview anyone just yet because I am still waiting for ethical clearance.

3) Talk about it to your friends, family, colleagues, bus driver, or flight attendant. And share this post far and wide on your social networks. Let's get this conversation going! #ithappenstomentoo

Thank you for caring.

Love,
Thanh

PS: Here is the magnificent Lady Gaga's goose bump inducing performance of 'Til It Happens to You' at the Oscars.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmWBrN7QV6Y