Yesterday I had my first mammogram - I got called in as they are now triailing women under 50 and because I went to my doctors earlier in the year with a lump I was put forward for the early screening. It's not nice, it's extremely painful, but if it could save a life (any life) then it's worth it.

All was fine and I wasn't concerned in the slightest, right up to the point I was just about to leave and the radiographer said to me "As it's your first you'll be called back, because they have nothing previous to compare to". It wasn't until I got into my car to come home, that her words actually registered with me. "Nothing to compare to"!! If she could see what was going on inside the tiny fleshy mounds she had just sandwiched to within an inch of their life, that would mean she could see anything that may be a potential "issue" at which point she should either have said "you might find as it's your first you get a recall" or just a "you'll get a letter one way or the other in the next few weeks". Her words have now got me thinking that she could actually see something, which is why she mentioned not having any thing previous to compare to. If there was nothing there (that she could see) then having nothing to compare to would not even be an issue.

All I can do is wait now; wait for the letter that arrives, which I am now almost certain will see me called back for more tests. I have to wait, and hope, because being called back may not mean there is anything sinister and that is what I am clinging on to.

I started this campaign with no real expiration date in mind because I didn't believe there was an urgency. Her words, however, have genuinely put the fear-of-god into me and once again reminded me how little time we have on this planet to do all we wish to do.

I don't mind admitting I am a little bit scared at the thought; not only that there may be something "not-quite-right" but also at the thought that I may never reach my goal on making this trip.

Here's hoping I am wrong on both points.