A week of healing has also lead to a week of emotions.  With my hair totally gone, and my surgery sites healing nicely why are my emotions on steroids?  I believe it’s because watching my loved ones cope with my cancer treatments is just as hard as the treatments themselves. Although I feel better physically this week, I cannot say that is true for emotional health.  As many others have experienced, having a cancer diagnosis has not only affected me, but my family and friends. I am learning firsthand how the complex feelings and lifestyle changes caused by cancer and the treatments become as overwhelming for others in my life as they are for me.

 First, let’s address emotions.  The eight basic emotions are fear, anger, sadness, joy, disgust, trust, anticipation and surprise. I find myself experiencing all eight emotions within a fifteen minute span. Is that possible?

Fortunately my friends and family are fast learners and when the tears start, they hang on!  A hug usually cures all and the moment passes.

 Second, are expectations?  I have learned that people want to help but they don’t know what I need or how to ask me. When I am direct and explicit about what I need and avoid making assumptions it helps us all. The problem is ---Sometimes I don’t know what I need.

 Last, are the lifestyle changes? WOW what a change.  I used to be able to multi-task many things throughout my day.  Work, exercise, laundry, housework and social time.  These days it and takes me till noon just to get moving. BUT, I love staying involved in social activities and maintaining contact with my friends and family so I appreciate the messages, emails, walks and texts. 

 As we enter another week chemo and the after affects, I know I may have some physical limitations and we may have to adjust to our activities, but don’t be afraid to continue pushing me because I love it and if I have to cancel due to being physically or emotionally tired, I will tell you.

 Next week, we will be ½ done with chemo! Also on October 11, I will be cheering Dan and many others on at the Hartford ½ marathon.  I plan on walking the 5K with my friends and family by my side.  I look forward to seeing you there.

To Another Week of Gratitude

Cindy