Beginning Of A New Chapter

My main goal is to start my adult life in the best way that I can. For years I have dealt with endless struggle year after year, having an young irresponsible father dealing with drug abuse, and my hard working mother feeding 6 mouths in a 2 bedroom apartment in Los Angeles. I myself also battle with many mental illnesses including major depressive disorder, PTSD, and anxiety disorder so when you mix that with the stress of financial issues it's a mixing pot for disaster. Currently I live with my mom (37), step dad (36), two sisters of the age of 4 and 3, and my baby brother who is 1. It used to become extremely overwhelming trying to figure out if school is even worth it if I can't even afford it. My passions include the arts such as ink drawings and water colors, how the brain works, child development, and social justice. So from taking a look back I realized that if anything education is the one thing that i need in order to survive. I have a big heart and an open mind that's ready to soak up any experience thrown in my face.

Don't get me wrong I love my family with all my heart but it can become pretty scary when they don't trust or support you in all the different ways you need them to. Being a gay, black, teenager who deals with mental illness in my family is like looking at an alien with three legs. No matter how much they tell me they love me and care, their hurtful language is driving me away further and further. Two years ago during spring break I had a suicide scare that made me realize that the minute that I can leave this house, I must. Not want to, have to. In order for me to thrive and excel I need to be surrounded by positive energy and whats no better place for that than Oregon. Growing up in the city has plagued me heavily and suffocates me everyday. I love nature and its the only place I feel that I can be myself.

If you have made it this far in reading I am beyond blessed that you are giving me the time of day. In conclusion my dream is to move to Eugene, Oregon after graduation, go to Lane Community College, graduate with a degree in psychology and child development, and live in a student community building that is fully furnished with 4 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms for only $599 a month. If I get a job right away, maybe even before I plan on moving, I strongly believe that I can survive and prosper. All I need is a little kick-start so I can begin this new healthy chapter of my life. Once again that you for your time and have a lovely day :)