becoming a light for who is suffering

Hi im 25 years old, i had i very painful past,like most of people, when i was 19 i tried to kill my self, but my heart said " why you want die,if you can help other humans,to trascend your same pain", so i started to study everythings,i tried until now to trascend pain on me,before to indicate they way i did, but now i dont have enough money to buy the last 3 book ( avatmsakasutra,the sovereign all-creating mind,precious treasury of the basic space of phenomena) that here cost to much for me, i have a job but i have to pay to much things now. if you can help me, thanks, if you dont belive me and didnt understood thanks again.
one day ill become a great master, and you will be welcome to my love and compassion every time you want. i want to help human to reach the liberation from this system that cut all wings. sorry for my english