Baby or Bust

Getting pregnant should be easy, right? As a nurse I see pregnant women everyday. I just talk to them and wish I could be feeling the same joy as them. I sit and wonder how it feels to be pregnant. All the movements and hormones. I never thought I might not ever have that chance. But here I am at 35 years old still chasing that dream. A dream that as I woman you think your just born with. I never thought I would be writing asking for money to finance that dream while my husband sleeps in the other room. We have been through many miscarriages and surgeries. I recently lost my last tube a month ago due to an ectopic pregnancy. I wanted the pregnancy so bad that as an ER nurse I ignored the signs and symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy. I didn't want it to be true. After my shift one morning I fell in the floor with pain. I was rushed to surgery. My mother and husband by my side. I looked over at my mother crying because she knew how bad a wanted this pregnancy to work. I was numb. I knew IVF was in my future. I had tried everything on my own. Infertility drugs and shot after shot. Nothing worked. Now me and my husband had to make a choice. We know we want our child but cannot afford to start. Student loans and just everyday cost are holding us back. We had the money saved but after the last surgery we had to tap into our funds. So now I'm here asking for help. I never thought this day would come. I never thought having a baby would be this hard. It shouldn't be. I hope my story touches your heart. It's hard to put all my emotions into words. It's been a five year struggle. We really appreciate anything you can give. Big or small anything will help. Thank you!