The Results And Damage Of This Abuse
When God opens our eyes to see the truth about the group and ourselves, it is in every respect devastating. Our entire cultic world and life view collapses, and there is nothing left. 'We' are not there - only the core is left. Healing is the full removal of the cultic persona and the rebuilding of our pre-cult selves. Healing does not terminate upon the self. Most of all it is coming to a true understanding of God as our tender, loving Father, and of living by grace
Problems: 1 reaction that all face is deep, and sometimes suicidal depression. 2. Initially this is due to the entire belief system collapsing into a pile of ruin.
There is nothing left upon which to base hope or faith. For the emotionally abused of a cult this is extremely distressful, especially as true emotions begin to reemerge. As time goes on and one sees the years of life, the possibilities of youth, and even marriage and parenting irretrievably lost, there is added grief, sorrow and guilt.
The bright hope and idealism of life has been stolen, and all seems like an endless unlit
road of mere existence.
These two debilitating emotions, depression and anger, may last for many months, often requiring anti-depressants to make it through this initial stage of their recovery.
Conflicting emotions rise and fall often for no apparent reason. This pattern gradually disappears as healing progresses, but may last for a year or longer. It is not a sign of failure, but a sign of the depth of the damage done to the soul and of the healing that is taking place deep
within as the real person begins to feel reality again. There is a sense of purposelessness and disconnection from life coupled with unbearable loneliness, isolation and alienation. There may be fears of losing one's salvation and waves of guilt for leaving the cult - even denials of the ver
abuse that led to the departure.
Fears of going crazy and the sense that no one understands (which, except for other former cultists, is true) further isolates the broken and battered former member.
There is embarrassment at having been 'so stupid' to have ever become involved and shame at all that you did while in the cult - especially if you recruited other members and joined in condemning those who left before you were finally set free.
The list could go on. With all of these problems, how can recovery ever reach the place where a former member of an abusive church is restored to health and usefulness?
Your contribution, will have a serious impact on this cause. From the bottom of my heart I thank you for your support. I will certainly keep you posted on my progress as I prepare for this event.