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We are on a mission to share ANTI-BULLYING & SUICIDE AWARENESS... Our daughter now 12, doesn't want other kids to feel the way she does/did she said. We've come together as a family and have had many families reach out that are still suffering or are going through similar situations. We understand that all kids will go through ups & downs through school and life. Even as adults. I am NOT out to get the kids that have harmed my daughter, We JUST WANT IT TO STOP! I know kids will say mean things (As I was told by the school) but “Go kill yourself” and telling someone over and over “Your life doesn’t matter” “Noone cares about your life” Are DANGEROUS words. There are some kids stronger than others no doubt. Everyone comes from a different story and can’t be expected to react or be like everyone else. My heart aches for any child that has felt pain or hurt from someone elses ignorance.
My daughter has had it rough within herself. (Not comparing to anyone else) 5 years ago, she had minor surgery for ears. Went in to Cardiac arrest and Trauma team resuscitated her thank God. She had missed 3 months of school that year but still passed with great marks. She has never been the same.
From a happy, outgoing child, to extreme anxiety problems and health issues, she’s struggled since. She use to enjoy school as it kept her mind off of her health concerns. For a few years she was a guinea pig going through tests over and over to only one and a half years ago, figuring out her body basically didn’t fully reboot once they revived her. Struggles of digestion, Nausea 24/7, Pain, Headaches and the anxiety of worrying about always being sick didn’t help. Last year was her worse year. Dr.s finally got her on track, meds to help her body digest, and function properly. For one month she was improving…It was wonderful! After one month of feeling well, then she caught mono. Because her system wasn’t the strongest, it took her for the worse. She was in and out of the Stollery for 5 months. Severe Depression set in & Anxiously. Now asking, “Will I ever feel normal? Will I die again? Am I being punished for something? Why does God make me sick all the time?” She would have nightmares of dying, over and over. We put her in counselling. The worse was hearing from school and friends “She’s faking it!” “You never died, you’re lying” “You’re not sick, you just wanted to miss school because you’re stupid” We tried taking her back for a fun day in June, but there was no way she was going to face the kids that said those things about her during this vulnerable time. She said “She wished she was just dead – and it would make them all happy”
Depression got worse. Not feeling her friends are looking forward to seeing her go back. Sleeping days on end, hospital, depression, anxiety she kept losing more and more pounds. 15.5 lbs in @ 50 days. Being 5’3” at 11 years old down to 80lbs was horrifying. She was a skeleton, seen all her ribs, hip bones stuck out, truly heart breaking. She ended up in a wheel chair. She was too weak to walk or stand, and for weeks even talk. Helping her with absolutely everything. August came, we were told her mind and her body is shutting down and the Next step was to tube feed her. September came she started coming around eating toonie size meals, and meal supplement drinks. Right away the bullying started. “You skipped school again. You’re stupid why don’t you just leave? You faked it, your lying… You’re stupid…. Noone likes you…. Noone missed you… all the way to “Why don’t you just go kill yourself!” “Your life doesn’t matter” “Noone will care” and so on….
What I want to get out there is, People have their own stories! Come from different paths! WORDS CAN KILL! You may think they’re strong on the outside, but what is hurting, painful and dead inside – YOU CAN’T SEE!
She was told continuously, “Noone cares about your life!” WTH is wrong with these kids? The parents know, they think their kids wouldn’t do those things, or say those things. Not one apology given. She stopped telling us as she told her doctor “The school doesn’t care, and I don't want to make mommy sad anymore”. We THOUGHT she was doing better, but it was all fake!!
Late at night I received a message, that my daughter had a social media account (which has been deleted) and for 3 months all’s she posted was heartbreaking, Suicidal thoughts, suicide talk, cutting herself, heartbreaking videos, crying out for acceptance. The thing that makes me SICK is – She had 41,000 THOUSAND fans! I work on line, internationally and don’t have that many fans/followers! BUT, another thought was…Kids, friends and adults that she knew seen this and didn’t say anything!. I THANK GOD that they came forward. My fear for her, or any other kid out there is – WHAT IF it was too late? WHAT IF you can stop someone by reporting other people’s actions. Kids need to be aware of these kind of posts, words, videos. They need to know it IS NOT ACCEPTABLE for your friends to be talking and expressing about ending their life. It's not just “Messed up society” as we've been told. Messages like this are and can be real. These kids that are so vulnerable and young that take their own lives, but CAN BE PREVENTABLE! My daughter and her doctors have done up a suicide plan for her, and our family. We shouldn’t have to do this ever! Let alone at such a young age.
PARENTS my message to you is “Sit down and talk WITH your kids, not talk as you’re busy making dinner etc….Sit together, Make them aware – MEAN WORDS KILL! Ask them, what if someone was doing this to your brother or sister, or mom and dad at work? How would it make them feel?
Tell them – YOU CAN’T SEE PAIN!
What if a child ended their life because their last comment was the one that pushed them over!?” I’m not waiting for her to take her life – I want it stopped now!!! It can be prevented if parents talk to their kids, Please. What if it was your child-You’d want it to stop. Your heart would ache in pain. Be fearful of the what ifs…. I can’t fathom the devastation of parent’s that have already lost their kids lives. I am doing everything in my power to build this girls confidence up, to help her build strength and to KNOW & BELIEVE everyone cares, and she is WORTH EVERYTHING to her family & friends. I don’t ever want to hear again “I’m so sad inside – But to scared to do it” TALK TO YOUR KIDS!
WORDS CAN KILL!
Kids who are bullied can experience negative physical, school, and mental health issues. Kids who are bullied are more likely to experience:
Depression and anxiety, increased feelings of sadness and loneliness, changes in sleep and eating patterns, and loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy.
Kids Who are Bullied sets into adulthood. They need your help, someone to rely on, trust and KNOW there is someone who cares! -
Please help us share the important message and share real stories. T-shirts and MANY advertisement will be made for the campaign as well, we thank you with all our hearts for all.your generous support!
- Ron Fehr
- Father and spokesperson
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