Anders fundraiser after a heartattack with 2 heartbeat stops.Since then I had several infections in the lungs I have flashbacks in the night so I can’t sleep and beacause of that I can’t work for anxiety attacks. So my life feels that is over and I’m only 52.

My life has not been like my friends. My father died when I was 1 years old and my mother was drinking all the time so I had to dropout high school and take care of our home and my little half sister. I can't remember what my mother never hugged me instead she sad that I should die instead of my older brother that died when I was 10 in a accident. In the meantime I discovered that I was gay when she find out of that she immediately sad you are not my son. I didn't talk to her in 15 years but one year my aunt had a birthday party and my aunt asked me to go and talk with my mother I entered her and said hi, she looked at me and said who are you. That was the last time I spoked with her that make me sad and hurt feelings that I capt in my mind. I had always worked hard and seeked for attention with other people's and that has forced my body to never relax so my anxiety and sleeping problem has descread to a level that i in my vacation felt that my left arm hurt so I called 911 and i got in the ambulance and my heart stopped beating so they had to defibrillator me then I woke up I couldn't breath so I got a new heartstop t went to the hospital and they fixed me. After 4 days I went home and my anxiety increased and i couldn't sleep. To got my anxiety decreased I began to shop at internet that increased more and more. I now have depts that is almost difficult for me to pay. Now finally i have met a doctor that got me to stopped my actions and he has give me a diagnosis PTSD. Now I feel a little better but i`m shamed over my economic status that I can't pay on my own. And I have a wish to go to clinic in Germany to help me get proper help. So can you please donate so I can be a happy guy again and begin to live again. My health is not so good I have had infections in the lung several times so I need to go to a clinic who can check me when I'm training.

So please help me and release my pressure.