Tu biji vairāk nekā tikai mans tētis - tu biji kā saules stars tumšā dienā, kā varavīksne apmākušās debesīs. Es nespēju iedomāties un nekad nevēlējos dzīvi bez tevis, bet...
Tu ne tikai mani atbalstīji un palīdzēji, tu mani mācīji un ļāvi man pašam mācīties no kļūdām.
Fifas turnīri, kopīga videospēlīšu spēlēšana, ceļojumi uz Itāliju, Spāniju, Angliju - tā bija mūsu tik ļoti foršā ikdiena, kuru tu padarīji vēl skaistāku ar savu plato smaidu un skanīgo balsi, kuru nekad neapnika klausīties.
Nebija tev iespējams izstāstīt 10 minūtēs to, cik burvīgi mums bija šie 18 kopīgie gadi. Īsziņā, kuru tev rakstīju, kad iegāji operācijā:"Tajā brīdī, kad es sūtu šo ziņu, tu guli. Tu nezini, ka es to sūtu. Tad kad tu pamodīsies, tu apjucis izlasīsi." Es ceru, ka uz mākoņiem tu šo izlasi, tāpat kā pārējas ziņas. Rakstīju tev par savu ikdienu, sūtīju bildes, domādams, ka tu tās reiz atvērsi, apskatīsies un pasmiesies. Rakstīju tev par futbola rezultātiem un sūtīju bildes par to, kā es mammu un vecmammu iepriecināju, nopērkot viņiem picu.
Pēdējā nedēļa tev bija ļoti smaga - 8 stundu operācija. Bet tu tāpat nepadevies un turpināji smaidīt. Jā, varbūt tev nepatika tas, ka tu nebiji spējīgs parunāt jeb tev lēja iekšā barību, kuru tu nosauci par "veciem sausiņiem", bet tu nepārstāji par to smaidīt un izteikt ašus jociņus, kuri bija tev tik ļoti raksturīgi.
Es tev solu, ka es sasniegšu savus mērķus un darīšu visu, ko varu. Es ļaušu tev ar mani lepoties.
Kā rakstīju pēdējā ziņā: "Tu biji, esi un vienmēr būsi mans un tikai mans, pats labākais tēvs."
Man jau tevis ļoti pietrūkst un es tevi ļoti mīlu.
You were more than feel a Dad to me - you were like a beam of light in a dark day, a rainbow in a grey sky. I was not able to and never mind imagine to life without you but …
You do not only support me and helped me but you also taught me and gave me the chance to learn from my mistakes. Our FIFA tournaments, video game sessions, tours to Italy, England and Spain - that is how awesome our daily life was, which you only made better with your wide smile and beautiful voice I which does not ver grew of listing to.
In 10 minutes I was not able to tell to tell you how amazing our 18 years together were. In my message to you when you went in to surgery I wrote: 'At this exact moment when I am sending you message, you are sleeping. You don't know that I am sending this. When you wake up, you will read this message confused.' I hope you read this message on the clouds as well as the rest of them. I wrote to you about my daily life and sent you ponds, thinking that you would open them some day, look at them and have a laugh. I wrote to you about football results and sent points of results, I sent you pictures how I surprised my mum and grandma by buying them.
The last week was very tough for you - an 8 hour surgery. Yet you still did not give up and kept whining. Yes, you might not have liked the fact, that you were not able to swallow anything at all, had problems with your vision and got fed liquid food which you said tasted like 'old crackers'. You still sand and told jokes Which were so characteristic for you.
When you had already passed away, I promised you that I will achieve my goals and do everything I possibly can. I will let you be proud of me!
As I wrote to you in my final text: 'You were, are and always will be my be and only my Dad.'
I already really miss you and I love you so much.
Around 3 weeks ago my Dad got diagnosed with a heavy case of brain stem tumour. He went in to hospital on March 5th and surgery was preformed on March 6th. It lasted 8 hours but was a complete success. He staid in the after surgery room until 11th. Me and my mum every day made ponds and were so happy that he got better with every new day. March 11th he was brought to his normal hospital room, number 4 - my football number since my early childhood. We were so happy that we started to plan his birthday on March 21 h. On Monday I most visited him as usual. We talked, had a laugh and my mum arrived so I went to the buss because I had a scheduled barber. I was right next to the bus stop when she called me and told me that Daddy was feeling bad, his hart had stopped and he were waiting for intensive care. I rushed back as quick as I could, he tried to do anything but nothing helped. Feel like my life changed in the time span of 10 minutes. He was our main care taker, we do no have any other way to get money because he always did everything for us - payed the bills, helped with IT stuff, kept us thinking positive.
Without him I feel - empty...