A visit home <3

Hello everybody.
I fell in love with an American soldier 14 years ago and moved to the US to be with him in 2000.
I knew he was the one for me and we got married.
2001 we had our first child together.
In 2007 another followed.
We were happy in love....or so I thought.
In 2010 he announced that he wants a divorce...out of the blue...I was dumb founded....devastated....
I begged and cried....to no avail....he went through with it...
After the divorce was final he asked me to reconcile.
I was full of hope but also full of resentment....it didn't help that my beloved mom passed away during that time.

4 months after her death I found out I got pregnant with our third child....despite PCOS and birth control....this little baby wanted to be with us desperately.
I didn't know what to do, I wanted my ex-husband back, but I knew it wouldn't happen if he found out I was pregnant.
I decided I cannot kill this baby and hid the pregnancy until I was 4 months along...he was mad...said he will resent the baby...
I finally had the baby and a few months later I moved out.
Now I live with our 3 kids in a tiny apartment.
It's hard to get by every month but we're making it...barely...

My dad and brother....the only immediate family I have left are still in Germany and have not met my baby girl (now 18 months) yet....nor have they seen my sons in 2 years.
My dad is over 70 years old and it's tough for him to travel, so unless we travel to Germany he won't see his grandkids anytime soon.
I was planning to go to see them Christmas of 2013, but there is no way I can save the funds until then with my small pay.
So if any of you have a $ to spare I'd be so grateful and I'd sure send a post card from Germany to whoever helped us out.