A Vietnamese milk tea shop owner need help

I'm 30 years old, a man with above-average income, have a bachelor's degree, and is running a HongKong milk tea shop in Ho Chi Minh City, Viet Nam. My situation become bad since Hong Kong's citizen revolution and the Corona pandemic after that. I have a lot of milk powder in my shop but myself is starving. I have some money in bank account but have to choose to fire a few servants, cutdown employee salaries, or close my shop, and I did some terrible decisions but my shop still running at the time I asked for help on this website. I pass by 7 days with a cup of condensed milk per day. I stole some bananas at a nearby farm and I start thinking about eating those farm guard dogs which I throw them a few sausages when going by before the pandemic arises. I tried to go to charity places that give free food, where I donated to them before, but I drove an expensive motorbike and wore decent clothes, I turn back home after saw those people in line that even don't have normal clothes to wear. My relatives in United States even in worst situation and I'm the oldest brother in the house. Bank and pawnshop? I had to put in a lot of effort to have better life, kill me if you want to take my house, and I'm not sure how long until the Pandemic will be prevented. I'm trying to pay salary for employee every months. I don't want anyone in my shop know about my hard situation. This is the most shameful things I ever did in 30 years. I need money. I want to survive. Help me.