I'm reaching out to you in the hopes that you will help me. I'm currently incarcerated, and the time ( 60 years ) I received is a defacto LIFE sentence. I'll never see the light of day again if I don't win an Appeal. I just received the best news I've heard in 18 years, a lawyer is willing to help me obtain my freedom. This is my last and final shot to obtain my freedom. Unfortunately I don’t have the financial means to provide enough money to hire this Attorney. So I'm reaching out to Anyone who will listen. Will you help me get out of prison ? The lawyer wants 5000 thousand and I believe that with the help of kind-hearted people like yourselves we can come close to that number with small donations of dollars from each one
of you. I DON'T WANNA DIE IN PRISON. I want to see everyone again someday. If you're willing to help? never thought I would find myself in such a life and death situation. I made a lot of mistakes in life and now I'm paying for them with the ultimate price " MY LIFE " I know that for a lot of you - you must be thinking : I don't even know you, why should I help you ? And my only response to that is: I'm far from perfect and now I've reached the end of my Path in life. So I'm reaching out But I'm asking, PLEASE HELP ME! Don't leave me to die here alone. Please give me a second chance at life.
I'm writing this with an open mind , wounded heart , and empty soul. Everyone of us has an individual story to tell and journey to walk. So I ask myself , Will you walk a with me ? will you feel me ? Will you take the time to get to know me and extend you're hand ? Will you give me a second chance and join me in my fight? I hope and pray you will.So as I sit here trapped in my thoughts buried beneath the earth and its elements I feel the pressure of concrete and steel crushing my bones and shattering my hopes and dreams. I hear the cries of pain and feel the agony of my family as they suffer with me, I'm drowning in their tears and there's nothing I can do to comfort them. My hands are bound and I feel paralysis from my eye's down. This has been my life for the past 19 years. Where did I go wrong ? So their I am, 10 years old trying to figure all these things out on my own. I see the neighborhood homies hanging out, I see the nice cars, jewelry, and money falling out of pockets, I see girls throwing themselves on the ballers and brothers walking around like its the okay coral. Was this what life is all about ? Is everybody living like this ? This looks like fun, everyone loves each other and everyone's eating, how can life get any better ? Before you know it I found myself hanging around the homies everyday. But I hadn't joined any gang and I wasent going to. Everyone around me was pulling me in different directions, homies from 63rd were pulling me in their direction, homies from 59th 53rd 51st and 26th were all pulling me in their direction but I didn't budge. Then one day I met a girl, I was 13 and I fell hard for her. She introduced me to her cousins and they were just like all my other homies, but I felt closer to them because of her. And so the story begins, the beginning of the end of my life started on a summer afternoon sitting on the porch of my first love. I was with my girl when a car pulled up and someone jumped out, they ran up on me and put a shotgun to my face, I felt the cold of steel pressed against my face and stared down the barrel of death. At that moment I felt no fear but I did feel all alone. They yelled at me to drop gang signs as one stole on me. I was paralyzed from the sudden shock, I wouldn't drop any signs and I told them I'm nothing. Moments later my girls mom came running out and chased them off. I went inside and sat in silence as I tried to figure out why this happened to me , I was heated, I wasent in a gang, why did they do this to me!! I sat there with tears of anger running down my face and I decided at that moment I would never be alone or in that position again. That became the tipping point in my life and taught me who were friends and who were foes. So I chose a side and the devil took control of my life. Little did I know how wrong I was, In retrospect I think : if only I knew then what I know now , and that's what the real definition of what a friend is. One bad decision lead to another and before you knew it I was banging ,selling drugs and living a fantasy, It felt like a dream, I went from smoking weed to smoking PCP and when I was high I felt like I was in another world, I'd hallucinate and lose myself not remembering what happened. all my problems would melt away and I'd get away for just a moment. I felt untouchable and the money was flowing , there was nothing I needed and had everything I wanted. Years passed and I'd barely make it as I dodged bullets and the morgue, my boys were dropping like flies and I thought it was normal to live in a war zone, seeing real war type stuff was just another day for me. At the time I thought everyone lived like this, I remember Rollin in my whips starring in the rear view more then I looked out the windshield, If you're from the hood then you know what I'm talking about. But if you're not then you're thinking to yourself as I am today. WHO DOES THAT? that's not what normal people do. Everyday was a fight for survival and I thrived in it, I thought and looked at this as a game, I didn't realize in my youth that the game I was playing was a game of life, and I was PLAYER ONE. How stupid could I be? Growing up I didn't have positive role models and mentors. The elementary school I went to Tonti didn't have sports activities , who could I look to, when my dad took me to the local park district SANKA PARK to sign up for football the couch told me MY KIND was not welcome. What was I supposed to do if no one was mentoring me in a positive direction. All my mentors were demons, no one told me HOW OR WHAT I NEEDED TO DO so I could be a fire fighter, or a lawyer or a doctor. I was mentored in urbannomics and I didn't stand a chance to fit into society's mold without or proper guidance and education.What I, and so many others have lived and are currently living is a fantasy, its not real and holds no promise of a bright future, unfortunately for me and so many others we didn't learn this valuable lesson untill it was to late. So years passed living in a dreamlike state untill my mistakes caught up with me and I found myself facing jail time. I landed in juvenile and I was fighting attempt murder charges. W.T.F.!!! But I kept my mouth shut and soldiered up. My whole life I've been loyal to this , the brothers would drive around the jail at night and beep the horn bumping the sounds and flag out the windows so i could see them supporting me, i thought i felt love and loyalty but what I didn't realize was loyalty wasent reciprocal. You don't see the fake shit untill its to late. So I did a few months and eventually the charges were dropped, I came home to a party and the guys were happy to see me,things went back to normal and I didn't learn any life lesson from going to jail. A few years later a son is born and now I'm finally starting to take life seriously, but before I can get my life in order I'm locked up AGAIN for another case I didn't do. Again I soldier up and take the hit, I end up serving 18 months in the state joint. That was a good detox, I came home to another party and seen everyone drinking and getting high. I said to myself : If only they could see how stupid they look. The next morning on my way home from seeing my parole officer I almost got killed. A truck pulled behind us and let off 20 rounds into the car I was in. No one got hit and we got away. I wasent home 24hours and my enemies were already trying to kill me. A month later my shorty cubby ( R.I.P. ) passes away and I'm devastated, I fall into a depression and I start self medicating again. I'm selling drugs and smoking PCP on a daily basis, I'm losing my mind and my homies are trying their hardest to get me to stop smoking PCP cause I'm flipping out crashing cars and hallucinating. The fantasy came to an end in October 2000. My life ceased to exist and I lost my best friends. What started off as a simple gathering ended up in a funeral. Two lives were lost ,family's were devastated and now I'm fighting to come up for air. I'm buried alive and seeking a second chance in life. For those of you who personally know me you know what happened. For those of you who don't know me I implore you to read my story. United States District Court For the Northern District Of Illinois Eastern Division. Armando Gutierrez v. Richard Harrington Case No. 14-CV- 02799 Judge Andrea R. Wood.I've learned a lot over these past 19 years. I've come to know who I AM as a man and what it means to be a man. I've also learned about life and the meaning of it. I've come to the realization that the true meaning of love and loyalty comes from within and what you can do for others, not what they can do for you. Words are empty untill their fulfilled, I always tell my son to trust none and suspect all. I been crossed by the ones closest to me and betrayed by the one's I was absolutely loyal to. So what have I learned from all this ? We'll never be at peace untill we let go of all our expectations and treat others as we would like to be treated. IF Jesus was crucified by the people he loved then what can we expect ? But what I've learned is that not everyone is the same and I've learned this through experience. I met a beautiful soul , a woman with a heart of gold and she defies all logic. How can someone be so selfless? She amazes me everyday and I love her, Shout out to my angel Randi. Te amo baby. I look forward to making new friends and sharing more of my life in the hopes of you supporting my second chance at life. Don't let me die in here.