A New Beginning

I am raising money to save myself. The past few weeks brought to light that my year long relationship with my boyfriend has been all lies. We have been living together since almost the very beginning of our relationship. We started off inseparable and so in love, at least I was. Then one day out of nowhere around 3 months in he told me he didn't love me and wanted me to leave. I lost it. We ended up staying together and trying to work it out. We were good for a while. again I thought, but now realize, he was only using me for his own selfish needs. Now we are back to fighting all the time, and I'm not exaggerating when I say ALL the time. He constantly picks fights over anything and everything and either way its my fault. I admit to doing and saying things I would never even think about doing or saying. This past week has been the worse week of my life. The belittlement and manipulation have left me utterly confused and emotionally drained. This last argument he actually scared me. The person that I know and love was not here that day. This other being was evil and I honestly was scared for my life. Yesterday was my birthday. He never even acknowledged it. Not even a Happy Birthday. He told me he knows he hurts me and he doesn't care. I feel my whole world crashing down on me as I realize I am dealing with a narcissist. He will never change. He doesn't have the ability to love or empathize. This whole time, everything he told me, the times he would hold me all night, the intimate moments, all of it was nothing to him yet everything to me. He packed all of my belongings two days ago and I have not unpacked. I have to go. It hurts so bad. I love this man. I do everything for him while he treats me like i'm nothing. I have no family to help me. I have no friends left. I do not have a job. I do not have a car. I have nothing and feel like nothing just empty. I have overcome hardships all of my life. Struggling isn't new to me. However struggling from scratch after being rebuilt with the help of this man, a man I finally trusted, and then ripped apart from the inside out and left alone with only my spinning thoughts and shattered heart, I'm not sure I can handle. I need some help. Please I am asking for help to get away while I still can and keep what little sanity I have left. This is a cry for help. My situation is toxic and very well could put me in harm's way. My faith will keep me strong for now but the next episode he has could be the last of my strength so I ask please keep me in your prayers. Thank you and God Bless,