I have always been a believer of love and happy endings but with time my believe faded a little bit more every year. I am not one to ask for help like this but I see a little light and a little hope that my happily ever after may be around the corner but that I also need a lot of prayer and a little help. This is not all about men or a man but they do have a lot to do with where I am going with my story; As a girl my home life was okay, I did good in school and overall I was a happy child even if we grew up with little, my parents and step parents (my parents got divorced when I was five years old) were loving and caring even though we saw my dad maybe once or twice in three months and my mother only every second weekend. My high school years weren't as great once my step cousins moved in with us. The eldest took it upon himself to make life difficult for me. He blackmailed me into doing things I did not want to do, things that made me a woman before I wanted to be one (even though I have forgiven him the memories of this hurts to much and I prefer not to get into that part to much) not only did he ruin my home life but at school as well. He got held back a year and was in my classes, where he would humiliate me in other ways than he did at home, he also got inside my friends head and also caused so much trouble which caused her and girls older than us to bully me. I was pushed around, my school bag pulled while I was going up the stairs which caused me to fall off the stairs etc. I wanted all this to stop. I went to my friends house to talk about the story he was spreading etc and she attacked me, she hit me and kicked me and her mother was standing there watching and laughing as all this happened. I couldn't take all the abuse at school and home anymore, I tried speaking up and was told that what's happening is my own fault. The people who did listen couldn't do anything without causing trouble in their own lives so there was nothing else for me to do but to run. I moved to my mother's where I had to start finding a job as the schools in the new town said its to late in the year to enroll but finding a job seemed to be impossible and I did odd jobs here and there. As a young woman I found a man who I fell deeply in love with my first real love and turned out he was nothing what I expected. He was at his business year end function where he apparently hooked up with a co worker and got her pregnant. He asked his sister to call me (on my birthday)to tell me it's over, that he made that woman pregnant. Sometime later I also found out he married her. It hurt like hell but I went on with my life. (This was while I was still in School)
At 19 I met my ex husband we have two beautiful girls together but things did not work out. While I was pregnant with his first daughter things happened, I also almost had a miscarriage but luckily she was born happy and healthy but with time things changed or I changed and I was diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder and Depression, I don't think he know how to deal with this and he filled for divorce while I was pregnant with his second child. At this point I have never really worked in my life and had no work experience. After we split up I had to start over with nothing, once again could not find a job. I stayed with my parents again. At a point I just had to do something, I wasn't finding a job but I had to do something for an income and I started a small online shop with the use of only my blackberry phone. I made enough money with this to pay a bit of rent to my parents and to buy a laptop.
My parent's place isn't very big and I also have three brothers two who was also staying with my parents and their wasn't enough space for all of us and I was asked to find a job and move out as I am the eldest and my daughters was still staying with me at that time, but still finding a job seemed to be an impossible task. This is about 8 years after my first love got the other woman pregnant who he married and then divorced sometime later -in the 8 years time he would contact me every now and again, apologizing etc but I always ignored him, blocked him etc- and he recently got in touch while the dispute with the living situation came up. I was desperate. We talked and I moved in with him. I was only going to be there until I could figure something else out but somehow he got in my head. Apologized, told me it was the worst mistake of his life, that he never stopped loving me. We got back together and I got pregnant with his son. I was happy. I was happy... Things weren't going great financially and at a point I knew it would be better for my girls to stay with their father as his father still stays with his parents and they are wonderful grandparents. I really did not want to put my girls through any suffering, not knowing if their will be food for them etc ....I was stupid but I know I made the right call.
I was a few months pregnant when he decided to end our relationship again. He ended our relationship because he got another woman pregnant, while I was pregnant with his child! My parent's said I could move back till after the baby was born.
In this time I created an online store again and things we're looking up. I could take it easy and did not have to stress or worry about getting a new place soon and I focused a lot on my online store and it was going really great, not good enough to buy/rent my own place but good enough to have hope for the future.
My beautiful baby boy was born and I had to start the process for maintenance from his father. His father then suddenly accused me of being unfaithful and saying my child is not his. He wanted to get the process prolonged because he "did not have money" for the test to be done but with the money I saved up with my little online store, I paid for the test and they told him he'll have to pay the money back to me if my child is his. There is no possible way my child could not have been his but I knew I probably won't see any money from him. After the test came back 99.9999somthing% his child, my son also has scoliosis which his sister also has, he's now wife (the woman he got pregnant while I was pregnant with his child) told me that I doctored the test and they would have their own test done. After this I was blocked from their social accounts, the changed their numbers and they even moved. So getting that money back was a lost cause and him paying any maintenance can be forgotten about but what hurt me most is that my son is growing up without a father but that is okay, I am his mother and father and my son deserves better.
I was then a single stay at home mom with an online store both needing a lot of attention. I had to put my son first and had to let the online store go a little bit. Once my son was old enough to go to creche I could focus on the business again but as I just started up all over again I was not making enough money for the creche and an apartment but I struggled through it. Had to move a lot with all the ups and downs of the online store and I finally came to a point where the store made enough for me to keep a roof over my son's head for longer than a few weeks but the stress and struggles of not knowing if we will have enough funds to pay rent of each month is still there and to find a full time job still seems to be a lost cause.
I am now a single, unemployed stay at home mother, with a not such a successful online store struggling through life alone with my little hero by my side.
I just want to mention I see my daughters a lot, the eldest started asking when she can move back to me but financially they can't yet and it hurts so much but luckily we see each other a lot and live close together.
The doctors said my son might need surgery for the scoliosis next year so that is another stress coming up.
An amazing opportunity came up, an opportunity that might give us our happily ever after where I will not have to stress about next months rent.
The funds needed is for equipment being sold, the equipment is for an indoor play park. Not only will this opportunity get us by each month but I will have more time to spend with my children as I won't need to work 21 hours a day. I'm sure with the play park I will be able to afford my sons surgery if he needs to have surgery.
Also this will mean I will need to hire help for the play park which will also create job opportunities. The equipment cost R500 000 and any contributions made will be extremely appreciated and I am also working my but off to try and get the other half together. Once we have the equipment and the play park is up and running we will also have free play days for underprivileged kids and more.
I would like to thank you for reading my story and would like to thank each and everyone of you who contribute to my story.
Please help us get our happily ever after.