Hello there ,
Let me just start by saying that i love life, i truly do. all i want is to be happy and get on with what i feel is in me to do so. I endevour to be such a positive influence on my existence but as i fall short in my personal experiences this positivity falls away also. i try to be so full of hope, to be content and live life with honest expression. I really do.
Over the years i have had a hard time dealing with life being labelled with depression and anxiety 'problems' only to be pumped full of perscription drugs that dulled my senses turning me into somewhat of a drone. Then to come off it all and not feel so hungover from all the pills but to still feel an exhaustion that tired every aspect of the way someone can be tired almost all the time. Good times.
There were, honestly there truly were some wonderful moments over the years when i could keep up with life thanks to some warm beautiful people.
Hilariously ( i loosely use this word ) after years of the doctors thinking the way they had and being told its in my head ( which i guess it is in part ) the next diagnosis was an over-active thyroid (hyperthroidism) and suffering with adrenal fatigue but try getting your doctor address that. As you may know or not all this majorly saps your energy, clouds the mind, gives rise to anxiety response in almost every action and makes it hard to have any amount of healthy body weight or strength. Thus making everyday life quite difficult as one might imagine. Exhibiting problems with exhaustion of physical, mental and spiritual faculties. Making socialising an effort leading to quite a imposed lonely time and painfully taking its toll on many aspects of the dearest moments in my life.
So now i feel it is of the up most importance that while i can, i do something about this predicament that if left un-addressed could cause life to just drift by me.
Through all these experiences i have found myself lead to more natural medicines and approaches which seem to address the mental and 'other' aspects of being like thought proccesses, emotions, energy, traumas. Which in term has led me to the ancient plant medicine ' Ayahuasca'.
Ayahuasca is used to address these issues and puts you in a place of communication with the situations you may have going on and be struggling with. combining this with an arena of greater perspective on what life may be, puts you in a place of possible reconciliation with your traumas so that you may realease there hold on you and be able to attempt to move forward.
here is some additional information and a more thorough accounting of the plant and its history.
The trip itself
Ayahuasca retreats in peru which range from £600-£1000, are where the goal is to get, as the plant medicines being worked with originate from and so work best with the climate. there are also retreats in holland and spain/portugal which work out around £700 for the retreat alone.
Your donations will help towards flights, internal travel costs, which for the Peru return flight the cost is £500-£600.the internal travel costs for peru beight around £200.
And of course the cost of the retreat itself.
After years of trying to get involved in life and important happenings, i feel a wind rising, where i feel more capable of taking hold of my existence to carve out some resemblance of a life and hopefully some me.
The need to remove myself from an environment that has weighed me down for far too long has become paramount in my attempts to heal myself...
To seek guidance from where i can see real promise seems like the natural next step.
If you find yourself reading this then i already thank you for your time and care.
i just want to be able to access myself, finally...
heres hoping ay
much love to you all x