A fresh start

Heres my story....i'm sure many could relate. I have always dreamed of making a difference, an impact in this world of ours atleast creatively and i tried endlessly to make it work but somehow i just can't catch a break. I thought singing was going to save me but lost my passion for it. Producing movies died & burned out too. Editing music frustrated me because i didn't have the right tools. I saw my ideas being done by others just because they were financially capable. One disapointment just led to the next.The real friends i have left are now providing for me and its just sad thats what it is. Whatever pride i had left just melted away. So here i am, jobless, fumbling for the reset button, hoping to start again. I started drawing characters on foam for parties. I cover these parties as well by being a one man band. Hosting, singing, decorating, video and photography coverage but they are all borrowed. Sometimes i don't have the materials. i need your help to get myself a good desktop computer and a slr to take those photos and videos. If there is anyone out there who could give a fellow creative a boost, a fresh start, perhaps my dream wouldn't be that impossible anymore.