Someday someday. Remember we can't time travel to the future. Read my @VICE column on time travel. It's possible and u don't need delorean
An American legend needs our support. He blazed a trail throughout his career entertaining millions smashing baseballs. He wrote the book that shocked the nation and faced scorn as he told the truth. Now, only a few short years later, he's forced to drive "a damn lemon car" that always needs maintenance. To make matters worse, he has to deal with taunts from The Iron Sheik. For example, and I quote The Iron Sheik:
"you only drive the mexican donkey you eat the dead cat taco go f** yourself"
"nobody miss you you smell like dead dog s**t"
And even this terrible attack:
"you have taco d** and no b**s you are dumb mexican and have no money to buy underwear you piece of s**t"
Terrible, hurtful words from The Iron Sheik. Shame on you The Iron Sheik. It's time for a change, and it's time for Jose to be able to prove to The Iron Sheik who's the real 80's Alpha Male. Your pledge of $5, $10, or even $20,000 will help bring an end to this taunting and right this wrong.
Jose drams of the day when he drive a Lamborghini again, like the good old days. Those days when he was smashing baseballs and stealing bases and dating Madonna. We might not be able to give back all that glory, but we can give him a Lamborghini. My foundation found this one on Ebay for $104,888. Your pledge of $10, $50, or even $50,000 will give Jose his rightful glory.
Jose is a dreamer and has a grand vision for the future. If you take nothing else from this plea, take this quote, and try not to cry from it's inspirational message:
Words can't describe the beauty in that quote. Three little letters make a valiant effort and come close: OMG.
Jose Canseco is a record-breaking athlete, a best selling author, and a Cuban American bad-ass. Jose Canseco is a dreamer. He's the man who tells us time travel is real, and we are hungry to believe it.
The world is a better place when Jose is driving a Lamborghini. The world needs Jose in a Lamborghini.
Help us make it happen, and you'll be helping the world. I'm starting the contributions with a personal donation of $8.
Jose don't need no delorean. Jose needs a Lamborghini.