A better life for Twin B

Camilla had a Transcranial Doppler done earlier today. We are hopeful for a more positive and favourable result.

Transcranial doppler ultrasound (TCD) is a non-invasive ultrasound method used to examine the blood circulation within the brain. Your doctor has recommended that you have this test to determine the amount of blood flow to certain areas of your brain.During TCD, inaudible (cannot be heard) sound waves are transmitted through the tissues of the skull. These sound waves reflect off blood cells moving within the blood vessels, allowing the radiologist to interpret their speed and direction. The sound waves are recorded and displayed on a computer screen.

TCD ultrasound images help in the diagnosis of a wide range of conditions affecting blood flow to the brain and within the brain.

TCD ultrasound may be used with other diagnostic procedures or by itself.

The Neurologist who did the Procedure earlier was Dr.Leonard Pascual and is highly Recommended by our Neuro Pedia Dra.Bernadette Terencio.

Dra.Terencio said that we needed this test done to know how soon should we schedule the operation.

Our Love

My Husband Jhayson became a couple in 2010 we both just ended our past relationships and we became close friends and then lovers. there were allot of insecurities because we were thinking that we might just be a rebound relationship but we got pass that and got married December 2014 but it was not a secret especially to our families that we have been trying to get pregnant since 2012. In 2013 was when I was informed by multiple OB-GYNE's that we are battling infertility. They say you have to try naturally for at least a year and if there is no success after that then it means there is a problem. I was 25 and Jhayson was 29 at that time we were both working on grave yard shifts and like any other job it was full of stress l but i felt like the stress was coming from our personal struggles of knowing that we are having difficulty conceiving. It was not a smooth relationship we had plenty of ups and downs and then we realized that maybe we are doing this the wrong way. Why are we asking God for a child when we cannot even obey him into getting the Holy Matrimony. We talked and Prayed about it and finally decided that we will get tie the knot. Our families were supportive and everything went well but still we did not concieve.

The Struggle

When we knew that we are battling infertility We saw one of the most famous OBGYNE specializing in infertility and we became very aggressive. We ran tests and even Jhayson did not have reservations he was even pro active in researching on the tests he needed to take to find out if the problem was on his side and what needs to be done. There was really confirmed as to why we were not conceiving but we just knew that it was not the right timing. as time goes by we get plenty of different advises on how to get pregnant fast and there were allot of heart breaking instances where friends already have 3 babies and got pregnant again and we were God father and Mother to all babies. we were invited to 1st birthdays and baptism which we enjoy but the comments of insensitive people like "you don't want have babies?" "what's taking you both so long?' "Who is infertile?' "You are both fat,that makes conceiving difficult.' and this affected us as a couple and as individuals. we fought allot we blame each other and most of the time we self pity and since both of us are weak there was no one lifting us up. We Prayed and Prayed. I say to the Lord., I love babies, i help take care of my nieces and nephew.I am most happy when i am with kids especially babies so I need babies or at least a baby of my own.

The Failed Attempts

We had 4 failed artificial insemination and all those times it broke me. I got angry and I did not want to admit that. I was scared at the same time I was faking saying and Praying that I am fine and patiently waiting when I was not. I was weak,angry,scared and insecure. Every time I will have my period would mean the insemination failed. I failed. We wasted money and it even got to the point that we wasted money that we did not even have anymore. Here in the Philippines Artificial insemination is very expensive. Until one day I decided or at least i thought s that I was done. I asked Jhayson if it was alright of it will be just him and me or if he wanted to adopt and he said it was perfectly fine if it was just us but i can see the pain in his eyes. I know it breaks him but he is trying hard for the both of us. We became insecure and angry both as a couple and as individuals.

The Pregnancy

February of 2016 My Ate Ricca asked me and Jhayson to stay with their 3 children aged 8,6 and 4 on August because she had to leave for Finland for their migration the following year. We said Yes because we love being with this children when I got confined because my menstruation lasted for almost 3 weeks and My Doctor was out of the country so I needed to see a different doctor. The Doctor said that I had polyps and The polyps eats blood that's why I'm bleeding to feed this polyps and that it needs to be removed. We did the operation and it was successful. We asked her if this was the reason why we were not conceiving and she said No.some develop polyps even on their pregnancy. I went home and followed up with her after a week and My husband said he was comfortable with this doctor and we told her about our story and she said she would love to assist us if we would still try again if we are ready and Jhayson was just so excited about trying again. I acted happy and excited but I was really sad and worried. I did not want to go through all the tests ,medicines,pain and all the more frustration again. but since my husband wanted to do it and he have never asked me anything i said yes and I prayed that God's will be done and we did it while we were staying with my nieces and nephew. I was taking care of toddlers and it was not easy but fun. it required that I drive around, walk allot , carry my nephew when i bring him to school so i really knew it would not be successful plus I was really negative about it. Until that day September 6,2016 2 days before my husbands birthday when I did not have my period. I felt cramps and pain on my abdomen and this is how i feel before getting my period every time the insemination fails. I was with my sister and mother on her dialysis when i called my doctor it was almost night time and she said get a pregnancy test the early detection one it should be able to tell you if you are because if not you have to come and see me there might be a problem. I tested at the hospitals rest room and to my surprise it was positive and I could not believe it.I broke down crying. God answered Our prayers.

Entitled and Ungrateful

When I got pregnant we had an ultrasound done because the doctor said in some cases there are artificial pregnancies because of the medicines that we take during the insemination process. We saw the Sac but there was no heartbeat yet so the doctor said she will only give us a baby book when the heartbeat appears on our next ultrasound in two weeks time and i should stay in bed with no bathroom privileges. I prayed for 2 weeks and I was like "Because I prayed,I deserved this." "The Lord gave us the baby because we are ready,and we deserve this." "I Prayed and The Lord answered because I was good." I was too proud and full of myself. After two weeks we had our 2nd ultrasound at this time it was so difficult for me. I could not eat anything, i can only tolerate water and my sense of smell was so sensitive i could not believe it. I thought that most pregnant women was just being picky and maarte but it was so real. I puked every 3 hours. I told the Doctor about this and she said I was too sensitive and so she started the ultrasound and immediately she said, I know why it's too hard for you. You are pregnant with Twins. We were so shocked, happy. We are truly Blessed and I say to myself we deserve this. Thank You Jesus! I had threatened miscarriage one time when my cervix was open on our 4th month. My sugar levels were normal as well as my blood pressure. the doctor said that i needed to stay in the hospital and with Gods grace the twins and i were safe.

The Premature Delivery

Day After The congenital scan the doctor said that all is well with the twins. I was supposed to see Our OB but i was too tired and then cam March 08,2017 I felt to weak and too tired. I had no discharges, there were no water leaking and no blood. My sugar level and blood pressure was normal and I did not even feel anything. I was just too weak until that night when i felt cramps. I did not know what contractions were since it was my first pregnancy. We went to the Hospital right away we got there at 09:00 in the evening and i was even told by nurses that they did not detect any contractions using the belt like equipment they placed on my tummy. they called the OB house staff to check on me and when she did an IE her voice was loud and was shocked saying that i was already 6cm and that i will deliver the twins right away. They called my OB and she came right away, She explained that I would need to deliver via emergency CS because the twins are in breach position and they might slip and all the more they will be stressed. She said she already called a Neonatologist to catch and take care of the twins. The Neonatologist arrived and she explained to me why i needed to deliver the twins and what she will do to help the twins survive. I gave birth to our twin Maria's March 09,2017 Maria Carmela 01:37am and Maria Camilla 01:39am. both twins cried and the whole team who helped in my delivery were all crying as they say "cry cry cry some more babies,you are doing great." My husband joined the neonatologist and her staff as they ran to the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) to take care of the babies

Realization

I though I can handle anything.I thought all is well and I deserved having this twin blessing and that nothing wrong will happen because I Prayed always. As the twins were Intubated, extubated and intubated again numerous times and with all the complications they went through I cried as I pray Lord,You gave us our twins in your time and we know the healing will all come from you and you alone. You are our only hope. Thy will be done. My Ate Ricca who was also a NICU mom to her bunso shared me their prayers when they were at The NICU "Lord Jesus Christ,Please cover our twins with your most precious blood,embrace them with your mantle of protection. You know the Prayers in Our hearts." I weep as I say. I was an ungrateful daughter God.I was entitled, i was complacent I relied on what science can do and not to you. Help me Lord, Help our family especially help our twins. give them strength and heal them completely.

2 months in The NICU and everyday was a whirlwind of emotions. there were allot of suspense. Every time the NICU calls our mobile phone my heart stops.

I knew then that only GOD can help and save Our twins. I questioned why my twins had to go through all the pain but I knew in my heart God will heal them. I understood that God loves me and our family he know what isbest for us but I will never ever give up on our babies. I will fight alongside my twins knowing that God willmake everything possible. I was able to say then that NOW i know LOVE.

Camilla’s latest procedure was the Cranial Mri. She had to be sedated in order for her to stay still during the procedure. Seeing her sedated and knocked out brought tears and heartache. I had my first mri when i was in highschool for a back problem,my daughter is just a year old and sedation is needed for an accurate result.the procedure took inly 30 minutes but the pre procedure was about 3 hours and even though it did not really hurt her only the iv insertion part we were still in tears knowing and seeing that she was scared even if she smiles a little.she was scared and when we were told that she should be awake inan hour or two but she did not wake up until after almost 5 hours and more importantly i cantget my mind out of what the result might be. It feels like we are the actors to a suspense movie. (I hate suspense movies)

• On a lighter note Camilla was still smiling to the hospital staff that assisted us and she was very sweet to ke and her tatay pre and post op. Our little girl was a sweet and loving fighter. We dis not have anything but high hopes. 🙏🙏🙏🙏