I will never forget the 16th of March 2018. A day my entire life changed. .What started of as a normal day turned out to be brutal. I guess the weather also matched this day. Cold,wet and rainy washing away what it could including my precious child. How do i describe in words how i feel. So here goes.It was exactly 5pm that afternoon and my perfectly healthy 11 year old child happy,joyous and full of life collapsed in my bedroom. I was thinking she was playing a prank which she always loves to do but she was not opening her eyes when i called her several times,she kept moaning like she was in pain. I decided that i needed to get her to a hospital. I called my husband and told him what happened, he then called my nephew and told him to take me to the hospital. Its at this time Hayley had her 1st seizure. I was stunned. She wasnt a seizure patient. She never complained of any pains or that she felt unwell infact she was vibrant and happy a few minutes ago so how did this all happen. I just couldnt wrap my head around this. Racing to the hospitàl i couldnt believe what was happening . She continued to seizure every 20 seconds. It felt like we took the longest route to get to the hospital. When we reached there they took her in and i was told to wait outside. At this time my husband arrived an went into the emergency room. One by one my family started showing up. At around half past 5 they took her from emergency to P5 a childrens ward. She continued to seizure non stop. Family and friends surrounded her praying because thats all we could do. Two student doctors and a sister took over and then started treating her. They hooked her up to a heart machine. They then started giving her valium and domicum, 2 well known seizure meds. Hayley never took to those medicines. Her body rejected the medicines and she continued to seizure every 20 to 30 seconds. I stood there feeling every bit of me helpless crying out to God to make it stop.How i wished it was me that was in her place. An hour, then two then three hours passed. I begged, and pleaded to God to make it stop. Her little body must have been so tired from the violent seizures and nothing was done for her. These two doctors seemed to be out of they depth. After all they were student doctors. What possible experience could they have had regarding my child. This was a living nightmare. I just wanted everything to go back to the way it was.A child who never even got a cold often is going through this. My child. We kept asking questions and my sister who works in the medical field kept asking them what they were doing. They only could say she was stable. They kept increasing the medication dosages and left her in that state knowing fully well that her condition wasnt getting any better.At about half past 8. I couldnt see her like this i could never describe in words what i felt. I pleaded with them to do something. It was the most helpless feeling i felt. I could never understand why they were so casual about the state she was in. No CT scan or lumberpunch or even an E.e.g was done on her. They were no senior doctors that were present. I couldnt understand what to do or what was going on. We even spoke to them about a CT scan. They then told us that they machine was not working. They told us they can only ventilate her but that was a last resort.I couldnt see my child suffering like this. In that couple of hours i must have aged a couple of years. Did they even care or did they know something we didnt. At 20 past 9 they told us all to leave because they wanted to ventilate her. I remember one of the doctors asking the sister for an intubation tube, the sister then replied that they didnt have Hayleys size tubing but only an adult size tube.The doctor then told her to bring it as she will make it work. I didnt want to leave but they insisted. We all waited in the foyer. I kept telling myself she will be ok. I remember telling my mum that she will be so tired when she wakes up. It didnt even cross my mind that my child will die.I couldnt sit or stand I kept walking up and down. I couldnt take it anymore because already nearly an hour passed. I walked slowly towards the room she was in and thats when i saw them pumping her chest. I broke down because i felt my baby slipping through my fingers. I walked back to my family and told them they resuscitating her. After what seemed like eternity they took us to another room. Dread filled me. My heart beated so fast and loud i could hear the pounding in my ears. It was almost like everything went in slow motion and came back to normal in a rush and i could hear myself screaming where's my baby. I want my baby over and over. They told us she is no more. I ran to where she was. She was covered with a sheet. I pulled it of. My knees couldnt hold me. I fell. I dont no how I got up. She didnt look dead but sleeping. I told them that they are lying. She is sleeping after all the siezures. She is tired. She is resting. She needs to rest. Im taking her home. She will sleep nicely in her bed. Then i saw everyone crying. They made me leave.They told us she died of a heart attack and her lungs bled out and that they didnt know what to do and what they were doing. We needed to get a post mortem. Never did i imagine i would be a mom to an angel baby. I always think did she ever call out to me. Did she ever say mommy please help me. It hurts me. Did she say mummy you always there when I need you. I couldnt do anything. My nights are sleepless as I play this day over and over. Im no longer me. Im the most fake person now. I go through all the emotions in one day. Im a big wound who starts sowing herself up and it takes me hours to do so because one rough move and it will open up and when it comes to the end of the day and i feel i am complete i try to sleep and when a new day dawns i see that wound wide open again. I shatter to pieces everytime. They say time heals all wounds but not this, it only worsen with time. Its more raw and intense to the point where i cant breath. While the world expects me to function and the doctors that treated my baby go on with they lives. I wear the most painful and ugly shoes. I didnt want to wear these shoes but i was forced to. I will wear these for the rest of my life. Even though they are extremely painful i have to bare it. To the world I am no one. My friends say i must let go and move on. To my family i must be strong but as for me i die everyday. I wake up and go to sleep with Hayley on my mind. Her imprints are in every part of my life and in every thing in my home. Her memories are etched in my thoughts. I sometimes just laugh out loud like i am insane or burst out crying because something reminded me of her. I will forever wonder what she would have been like growing up. This beautiful soul that touched everyone. That gave the purest love. I will never experience her firsts of anything. I was robbed of this. I will always think why me.This is me Hannah. A Grieving Mother.
Today i sit with immense grief because my child was taken away from me. Juat because we could not take her to a private hospital and put our hope in the public health my child couldnt get the treatment she needed. It was like her life didnt matter and she was an experiment. A condition they never experienced before.
For this reason we want to bring Juctice to my little girl. A veautiful child inside out that was snatched by them. First they allowed her to seizure for several hours and then gave her a heart attack while ventilating her with the wrong size tube.
We are in desperate need of two reports that would prove our case and bring these doctors to book. We are in need of these funds to get these reports. So we appeal for a sponsor in aid of this. These two years have been really traumatic. Our entire lives will always revolve around that day and that we lost our heartbeat due to the callous treatment of our child.
We appreciate the help that will be given to us via this platform. May Gods blessing each and everyone of you.