I need help!

Hello everyone

I'm very ashamed to ask for help, but I really need your help. You are my last hope to survive. Because I can't imagine my life without my children. I've been without them for a long time. So there was my life that today I was in a difficult life situation. I have no one to turn to, and I do not even know where to turn in such situations and what to do. I don't know how to write correctly and what to tell, but I think you need to write from the beginning.

My name is Valentina I am 29 years old. She was born in Barnaul, Altai Krai. In 1995, my father was killed, after that my mother began to drink alcohol, our family was dysfunctional. Education I have no, except certificate for 9 classes. Worked, but not officially, took on any work. Since the age of 15 I was diagnosed with stones in the left kidney and then my mom gave me tuberculosis. I cured tuberculosis in a year, in 2008 they removed it from the register. In 2007, my mother died of tuberculosis. In 2010, I had my first surgery on my left kidney. Like a bit became easier, but stones would still formed. In 2012 I became pregnant, and in August 2013 I gave birth to my daughter Anastasia. Father daughter refused to recognize her and of course doesn't help. I never asked for help, always worked and earned myself. Anastasia was a month old when I met a young man, and it so happened that we began to live, then I became pregnant, and we signed, the daughter he recorded for himself. I gave birth to my son Yegor in September 2014, when my son was 6 months old, I left my husband. When we still lived together, we asked his mother to take a loan to close his credit debts, taken before we met and my loans, took, when already living together. With the amount his mom took out, we closed his loans, made a full bathroom in his parents ' house. My loans we have not closed, and I'm the only thing that bought with this money daughter sled for the winter, and his son a stroller. I am not a conflicted person and although they took a loan to my mother to pay his debts, I did not refuse to pay it. Every month it was necessary to pay 10 thousand rubles on the loan. I transferred this amount to my mother-in-law every month alone, my husband did not pay a penny. For two years I paid every month, but since my husband did not help me at all, and I rented housing, provided for children and then I put a condition that my husband and I will pay in half the loan of 5 thousand I and 5 thousand he. And so for two more years I paid every month 5 thousand rubles. The husband did not work and sat on the neck of his mother. He was convicted of stealing a car under the influence of alcohol from his friend and he has a debt on him for the crashed car. And he does not pay, under the guise of children, that supposedly they are in his care. I lived in an apartment that my mother-in-law took as a mortgage to my son before we met him. So as she was in mortgage, I it translated every month on 15 thousands of rubles, I she has as would filmed its. In November 2016, I was offered to go to work in St. Petersburg and I, after consulting with my mother-in-law, decided to go, she said, go, earn money, and the children will stay with me. On November 14, 2016, I flew to St. Petersburg. I transferred money to children and on credit, in June 2017 I was hospitalized with a high temperature and hellish pain in the kidney. On August 28, 2017, I had a kidney removed from my left side. From June to September 2017, I was in a hospital in St. Petersburg GBUZ "Nikolaev Hospital". Every day my mother-in-law called me and asked me to transfer money, but since I went to the hospital, I was fired, I had no place to take money from my job. She didn't care that I wasn't even able to work. I lost 16 pounds. Then I tried to get a job, earn money, but because of the climate I could not be in St. Petersburg, so I moved from city to city in search of work, but I am constantly sick, because my immunity is very weak, so I do not stay anywhere at work. Now I live in the city of Penza, Penza region, here I want to live. My mother-in-law and I had an agreement that the children would stay with her until school, and that before my daughter went to school, I would take them home with me. But recently she said that she wants to deprive me and my husband of parental rights, explaining that she will be paid 12 thousand rubles for each child. With husband we not live long, but we until now in official marriage, to me divorce I need to come home, and he not wants go and set, on divorce, explaining those, that he has no money, pay toll for divorce. He has been living with another woman and her child for a long time. He did not mind that he was deprived of parental rights, as against his mother he will not go. As she told me, he can't help her because he has a mortgage and a new family. He doesn't care about the kids. And I really want my children to be with me. I can't go on without them, I haven't been with them for so long. I want to take them away, but since I do not have regular earnings, I rent a house and buy food with them. I was recently diagnosed with psoriasis in November 2019. Now I'm being examined, but for some reason, I have a constant temperature. I don't drink, I've never done drugs, I know I'm not the best mother for taking so long to leave my kids. But I don't have the ability to move the children, I just don't have that kind of money. I need money to move the children, I need to somehow arrange Anastasia to school, and Yegor in kindergarten, and for this you need a local residence permit and it is not cheap. On its apartment naturally I have no money. I want to unlearn on the master of manicure and extension, but I can not even raise money for school, especially for materials for work. If I, at least unlearned, I could at least earn. My children will be taken away from me if I don't have a job and a place to live. My mother-in-law has an apartment in a mortgage in Barnaul, where my husband lives with a new family, she herself lives in the city of Zarinsk in a two-room apartment, there is also a private house in this city. Naturally there she had many friends and a positive verdict would be in her way. She wants me out of her apartment now. In October I was able to collect the parcel the children, poor things, but failed. Only here for a very long time to explain, but if something details want to know, I will answer all questions. Help me, please, to take away my children, help, please, though something. I do not even know what amount will help me. Even a little thing will help me. I am very ashamed to ask you for help!