About This Project

I am preparing for something very important in my life, and I am asking for your moral, financial, and emotional support. I know it is now or never for me to stand up for myself.

My dream is to still do the Camino de Santiago walk this year. I would like to leave South Africa on or before 11th of September 2012 and the whole walk takes between 30 and 40 days.
After 6 years of spiritual abuse in a cult, 2 1/2 years of many losses myself and my family endured. The cult brought me at odds with my best Friend (Jesus Christ). It caused me to question, doubt and even run the other direction from my Source.

I will be walking the Camino for two reasons, one to 'bury' the past, two for self-reflection/self-discovery. I would have never imagined myself taking on this journey alone, but I know AND understand why I must…. I’ve reached a time I need to re-assess, to reflect a little and decide what I’d like to do with the future.

The Results And Damage Of This Abuse

 When God opens our eyes to see the truth about the group and ourselves, it is in every respect devastating. Our entire cultic world and life view collapses, and there is nothing left.  'We' are not there - only the core is left. Healing is the full removal of the cultic persona and the rebuilding of our pre-cult selves. Healing does not terminate upon the self. Most of all it is coming to a true understanding of God as our tender, loving Father, and of living by grace

Problems: 1 reaction that all face is deep, and sometimes suicidal depression. 2. Initially this is due to the entire belief system collapsing into a pile of ruin.

 There is nothing left upon which to base hope or faith. For the emotionally abused of a cult this is extremely distressful, especially as true emotions begin to reemerge. As time goes on and one sees the years of life, the possibilities of youth, and even marriage and parenting irretrievably lost, there is added grief, sorrow and guilt.

The bright hope and idealism of life has been stolen, and all seems like an endless unlit

road of mere existence.

These two debilitating emotions, depression and anger, may last for many months, often requiring anti-depressants to make it through this initial stage of their recovery.

Conflicting emotions rise and fall often for no apparent reason. This pattern gradually disappears as healing progresses, but may last for a year or longer. It is not a sign of failure, but a sign of the depth of the damage done to the soul and of the healing that is taking place deep

within as the real person begins to feel reality again. There is a sense of purposelessness and disconnection from life coupled with unbearable loneliness, isolation and alienation. There may be fears of losing one's salvation and waves of guilt for leaving the cult - even denials of the ver

abuse that led to the departure.

Fears of going crazy and the sense that no one understands (which, except for other former cultists, is true) further isolates the broken and battered former member.

There is embarrassment at having been 'so stupid' to have ever become involved and shame at all that you did while in the cult - especially if you recruited other members and joined in condemning those who left before you were finally set free.

The list could go on. With all of these problems, how can recovery ever reach the place where a former member of an abusive church is restored to health and usefulness?

Your contribution, will have a serious impact on this cause. From the bottom of my heart I thank you for your support. I will certainly keep you posted on my progress as I prepare for this event.

backers
6
donated of $3,000.00 goal
$430.00

14% Funded

Funding Expired

  1. Donated $25.00 or more

    My personal photos of my journey with a special thank you note! (DVD)

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    Backers

  2. Donated $50.00 or more

    My personal photos of my 40 day journey, including my 40 day diary. (DVD)

    0

    Backers

  3. Donated $100.00 or more

    Choose any of my personal collection of books on http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sale-Book-collection-of-Leonard-Elna-selling/169666986403433 , DVD My personal photos of my 40 day journey, including my 40 day diary.

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    Backers

Project by

[Image: ElnaNel]

ElnaNel

Gauteng, South Africa

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